The Unitarian Fellowship of Peterborough

On Mothers’ Day, our Story for All Ages was a book written by Judith Viorst entitled My Mama Says There Aren't Any Zombies, Ghosts, Vampires, Creatures, Demons, Monsters, Fiends, Goblins, or Things. In the story, a boy reasons out that if his mother is wrong about some things...and she sometimes is...then she might be wrong about there being no zombies, ghosts, vampires, etc in his closet or under his bed. How can you trust someone when they sometimes get it wrong?

Even mothers make mistakes sometimes.

Well, the same is true for ministers. That same Sunday, I spoke about how difficult it is to mother, or to provide mothering energy, when we cannot always control the effect or outcome, particularly since so many forces seem to contradict our efforts. I used a metaphor about breast milk...about how even with this most quintessential act of nurturing, a mother can be passing on toxins to her baby. Later, it was called to my attention that I had (unwittingly) contributed to the (misguided) campaign against breastfeeding, when, in fact, breastfeeding provides a child with the best possible defences, immunities and nutrition. I’m very sorry for my carelessness with words; it was never my intention to suggest that breastfeeding is bad, and I certainly don’t want to contribute to a message that confuses young mothers. Breastfeeding is best.

I was pleased that this thoughtful observation/critique was made directly to me, and equally pleased to enter a conversation about it. I learned something. I was reminded to more carefully consider the impact of my words. I was reminded of the great privilege and power that the pulpit holds, and that I need to constantly respect that.

But this also got me thinking about trust. If the minister says something untrue or erroneous, does that mean she can’t be trusted? Trust is not built on being right or wrong, but rather on relationship. Trust is built on being present, available, and vulnerable to one another. Trust comes from hanging in there with one another even when we disagree or make mistakes. Trust is built when we enter into the conversation and can count on one another to engage authentically.

I make mistakes. We all make mistakes. And, it is out of this imperfection that we must create lasting and loving relationships that lead us all toward more wholeness, more health. May we all be deserving of one another’s trust.

See you on Sunday!
Julie